


they tell us don't rush into things

by transit (dollyeo)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/pseuds/transit
Summary: "So the good news is no one wrecked the rental car or got kicked out of any bars for nudity and misbehavior last night," says Seungcheol, and already Jihoon can feel a migraine forming in his head."What's the bad news?" He asks, dreading the answer.Seungcheol flashes up his ring finger, shame-faced. "I think I got drunk-engaged to Soonyoung instead."





	they tell us don't rush into things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rinnenotsubasa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnenotsubasa/gifts).



> Hello, @rinnenotsubasa! Thank you so much for commissioning me to do sooncheol UvU I haven't really tried branching out to other Soonyoung ships, but this was fun to write ♥ I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

When Seungcheol calls Jihoon at six in the morning, Jihoon figures it has to be an emergency. Clearly, no dumbass in the world would wake him up at ass'o-clock on a weekend despite the time difference to make small talk or check up on him, and Seungcheol's been rooming with him for so long that his self-preservation instincts should be on high alert around him when he's in a bad mood. Right?

Wrong, Jihoon decides, watching Seungcheol's face, grainy through his phone camera, look as cheerful and unbothered as ever. His hair's the bird's nest it usually is when he's just woken up, even if it should be -- what? Sixteen hours behind Seoul? Bastard probably slept in, wasting his vacation away.

"I don't wanna know," he tells Seungcheol before he can get a word in. "Whatever it is, leave me alone."

"What if I'd been arrested and I needed you to help me out?" Seungcheol asks, with faux hurt in his tone.

"Then you would have called your parents first," says Jihoon. "Or Soonyoung would have bailed you out."

"He could always throw me under the bus," says Seungcheol.

"Then why are you dating him?" Jihoon asks.

Seungcheol's face turns into an interesting shade of puce, and he looks away from the camera. "About that--"

Jihoon pinches the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me no one went to prison."

"No one went to prison," Seungcheol parrots back at him, dutifully. "But you might wanna sit down for this..."

Jihoon's known Seungcheol long enough to know when he has his serious face on, and this moment is one of them. It doesn't really crop up these days, now that Seungcheol's more settled and secure in himself and they're already used to each other's quirks, but for the longest time, Jihoon's had to deal with it when he and Seungcheol initially bumped heads over irritating living habits and trying to tread the boundaries of personal space. And then Soonyoung had come along, and he'd had to live through it again.

They're better now -- more than Jihoon's comfortable with, if he's honest, because if Soonyoung and Seungcheol aren't fighting over who took out the trash last night or whose turn it is to do the dishes, then they're making out in the kitchen when they think Jihoon's not paying attention. It's a look that Jihoon's awkwardly sat through in how many arguments in the past, especially when he'd been awkwardly third-wheeling in the unresolved sexual tension of his flatmates before they'd decided that getting under each other's skin was less productive than taking the frustration out on sex.

He doesn't really like it, hates it even more than those assholes settling into something akin to domesticity that has Jihoon cringing and gagging into his coffee every morning and contemplating looking at apartment listings all over again. He stays quiet and waits for Seungcheol to go on.

"So the good news is no one wrecked the rental car or got kicked out of any bars for nudity and misbehavior last night," says Seungcheol, and already Jihoon can feel a migraine forming in his head.

"What's the bad news?" He asks, dreading the answer.

Seungcheol flashes up his ring finger, shame-faced. "I think I got drunk-engaged to Soonyoung instead."

"Make that drunk-married," Soonyoungl's disembodied voice comes from somewhere outside the periphery of Seungcheol's shitty camera phone's line of sight, and Jihoon tries not to _scream_. His hand pops into the frame, waving around a piece of paper. "I think I found our marriage certificate, hyung."

Jihoon's just about to have a heart attack at the barely legible words typed in serif being shoved into his face, but a part of him starts to go on overdrive reflexively, already working out the logistics of it: should he send them a money gift? Flight tickets? Would it be in bad form to punch them after booking a plane ticket to Vegas just to yell at them about their bad decisions so early in life? Would they even listen? More importantly, _who was going to tell their parents_?

But then Soonyoung starts cackling and Seungcheol's somber expression cracks into a grin, just as the ball of worry and fluttering in Jihoon's stomach settles into stone at the pit of his stomach. Just like that, all visions of weepy mothers and chaotic living arrangements (even if Soonyoung was practically over his and Seungcheol's apartment every other day -- oh god, Jihoon was gonna have to _move out_ ) crumble in the face of the laughing jackasses he calls his friends. Jihoon hates them _so much_.

"Just kidding," says Seungcheol, taking off his the ring on his finger. "We just went sight-seeing and slept in our hotel room before midnight. Got you good, didn't we?"

"The look on his _face_ ," Soonyoung wheezes, in between trying to take in lungfuls of oxygen and fighting off his laughing fit. Jihoon hopes he _chokes on air_. Seungcheol grabs him by the waist to steady him, but he just ends up falling on Seungcheol's lap in a helpless heap.

"Oh my god," says Jihoon, summoning all of the pent-up loathing and venom he could in his tone. He thinks of being forced to sit in the same room as Soonyoung kicking his feet up on Seungcheol's lap, or getting sexiled at one in the morning when they taught he was asleep and oblivious to Soonyoung's muffled whimpers into Seungcheol's pillow. _Hate_. "I'm kicking your asses when you get back to Seoul."

"Don't worry, Jihoonie," says Seungcheol, a shit-eating grin on his face. Hanging around Jeonghan and Jisoo isn't doing Seungcheol wonders, and clearly Soonyoung isn't going to be a guiding influence if he just keeps burying his face into the crook of Seungcheol's neck and shoulder and sniggering like an idiot. "If I get married, I'll make sure to send you an invite as the best man."

"I dunno," says Soonyoung. "I kinda prefer Jihoon as the flower girl instead."

"Ha ha ha," says Jihoon, flatly. "Keep talking like that and then we'll be preparing for a funeral instead of a hypothetical wedding."

"Ring bearer, then," says Seungcheol, as if that's even supposed to be an upgrade.

"Fuck both of you so much," says Jihoon.

Still, when he ends the call an hour later-- there's something strange about it, how he feels more disappointment than relief. He'll give it time before he starts apartment-hunting; he figures it'll happen eventually.

For now, though, he wonders if anyone's willing to make a bet with him on how long it'll take before these assholes actually end up getting married. He knows a winning bet when he sees it.


End file.
